So who the hell are we? Should you be scared? Are we out to steal your wives, corrupt your children and violate your anal opening? Or are we just a couple of harmless freaks, having a good time with other people's significant others and posting some dirty pictures on the internet while we're at it?

Well, like most things, defining who we (and by we, I mean Seth & Alanna) are, is not as easy as you'd think.
To answer the above questions (sorta), no, you need not be scared (unless 1) you're a right-wing religious zealot hell-bent on sticking your nose into places it's not welcome or 2) someone who steals our pictures and videos, in which case be very VERY afraid ;-)
We might borrow your wife, given the opportunity, although we'll probably return her slightly used (but happy!). We're not interesting in corrupting children, although we'll happily corrupt anyone once they hit the age of 18.
Violating anal openings? That's a toughie...usually, the answer is no, especially if you're male. However, Alanna HAS been known to do some pretty strange things with her strap-on....right Claude? If you're female, well, we'll generally ask before violating ANY of your assorted orifices...
So we're more or less harmless freaks, we certainly ARE having a good time, sometimes with other people's significant other (as long as the significant other knows about it and is ok with it!) and we DO post plenty of dirty pictures (and other things) on the net...

I can't speak for Alanna. She does that in her own section where she explains more about herself, how she got into this whole thing, her likes and dislikes and why she has a Little House on the Prairie fetish.
But this is my section, even if it's about both of us, so I CAN tell my side of things, and I won't lie about it, even when it's not pretty (or if I DO lie, I'll tell you)

I'll start off with the basics. My name is Seth. No, wait, that's a lie already. My name ISN'T Seth, but after 6+ years of being on the net and called Seth by my wife and friends, it's seeming more like my real name all the time. Although some amateur web folk (and I'll give you my definition of amateur web folk soon) go by their real names, we decided not to do so...for personal reasons. More or less, there are people we'd like NOT to know about our porn lives, and while we're quite aware that they still may find out, we'd like to do what we can to minimize the chances.
So where does the story begin? For me, it's waaaaaaaaaaay back in 1965 where life began for me living in a little trailer in the middle of a corn field. My dad worked hard, but we were still white trash. My mom was a smart lady, but she was bored stiff. So what's a young woman to do, stuck in a little trailer in the middle of a cornfield with a little hellion of a kid, nobody to talk to and nothing to do? Well, folks, after a couple of years, she did something horrible. Probably the worst thing you could POSSIBLY do to a 2-year-old, scarring me for life and probably sending me straight down the road to perversity and porndom.
NO, not THAT, you sick perverts! My mother never touched me in bad ways!!
No, it was much, much worse. The bitch taught me to read. At two years old. So early, that by the time I reached kindergarten, I could have taught the class. By the end of first grade, I had read every book in the (albeit small) school library. Yes, it's true. I was the smart kid. The class brain. The smart kid. The dork.
Damn you mother!!!!

That label (or rather, stigma) stick with me through school. It didn't help that mom dressed me 'til ninth grade. I wore buckle shoes and corduroys waaaaaaaaaaaaaay longer than they were fashionable, even in our little hick country school.
Oh, then add in my allergies. You know the kid with the constantly runny nose, always-watery eyes, sneezing 20, 30 times in a row?...that was me. By my senior year of high school, I still was known as the guy who wiped his nose all the time. Today, people think I'm a major cokehead simply by watching my twitchy nose.
Oh yeah, did I mention we were poor? We moved up from trailerhood into a little house, but we were always struggling. I just didn't understand that back then. I thought it was normal.
Now, I know you're all thinking so what? Your childhood was tough, Seth, but mine was even WORSE and I didn't turn out to be some sicko porn pervert!
Fine, you win.
But given all of those circumstances, I was PAINFULLY shy. My first 'girlfriend' was in eighth grade, highlighted by a couple dances at the Junior High Christmas dance and ended when, a week later, a friend of hers asked me if I was gay. I didn't hear her real well and thought she said something else (what, I don't remember now) and said yes. After that, I was the gay smart kid.
So...when the torture of high school was over and I moved on to college, I finally got around to having a semi-serious relationship with a woman. By my junior year of college, that is.
We met at the bar, two minutes later she stuck her tongue down my throat, and we were engaged a month and a half later. Hey, I was shy, she liked me - I'd better hang on to her, huh?
Wrong. I'd forgotten to ask her when we met, but 1) she was a total whore (woo, big surprise, huh?) and 2) she was Satan.
As I was saying, I married Satan. Oh, sure she screwed me. In many more ways than one. She also spent a significant amount of time screwing other guys, although you couldn't make her admit it even if you caught her in mid-fuck.
So for eight looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong years I spent my time as a normal human being (albeit one who was married to Satan). I put up with a lot of shit (and I mean A WHOLE LOT of shit), mostly because my low self-esteem told me that I'd lose her if I DIDN'T put up with the shit, and I didn't want to lose her because, hey, who else would have me? (pathetic, I know).
I spent those years working a variety of jobs (I had quit college when Satan and I got married), none of which paid shit and most were boring as fuck.

About eight years into the marriage, two very important things happened. One, I stumbled into a job as a sportswriter, part-time at first, then full time. Since I was a life-long dork (and reading newspapers since second grade), it was a perfect match for me. The second thing was I decided to go back to college - at first, to get a teaching certificate, then, after I started doing well at the paper, to get a degree in journalism.
It was back at school that things really changed, although it wasn't Alanna who changed things. No, it was another girl - we'll call her Mary - who did it. I worked with her in the school library, and sure she was cute, in a hairy-armed sort of way, and she flirted with me a lot. Well, THAT wasn't too unusual - I was always a flirt and girls had flirted with me for years - I was always too dumb or scared to do anything about it.
Well, Mary was different. I had stopped wearing my wedding ring a few months earlier, and she never asked about my 'status'. She was my age and a widow. She hadn't gone out with anyone since her husband's death, and after weeks of flirting with me - waiting for ME to ask HER out and getting no response - she asked me out. I said yes.
I was nervous as shit, worse than I was when I met Satan. But it turned out ok - we had a couple-month relationship, during which time she was deciding about me and checking out prospects with other guys at the same time. I meanwhile, fell for her, hard.
By the time we broke up - NOT over the fact that I was married, as she never found out - I had become semi-friends with Alanna, who also worked in the library. Mary and Alanna HATED each other, strangely enough ;-)
Anyway, one day during work time at the library, Mary and I had a not-so-pleasant post-breakup conversation. She stormed to the back lounge area and mumbled to Alanna 'men are ASSHOLES!' (I'm not sure what I did or said to deserve that, but I'm sure it was something).

Maybe it was because she disliked Mary, but Alanna took it upon herself to give me some sympathy. I said I needed a drink, and she suggested we drink together. Well, hey, that sounded like a date to me...so I said yes. At the time, Alanna was very cute, dark hair, kinda nerdy looking, but still pretty sweet. And I'm no moron.
SO we went to a comedy club, where I bought her drinks, she flirted heavily and I thought to myself YES! ka-ching! I'm gonna score with this hot young college chick!!
We went back to her place, I wrapped my arm around her and we talked for awhile. Finally I made my move and went to kiss her - and she jumped up and acted like she was looking at the monster from Alien.
"What are you DOING?', she yelled, waking her roommate, I'm sure. Well, I was baffled - I was SURE she was gonna put out and now all of a sudden she wouldn't even kiss me? Well, as I later learned, Alanna was a first-class flirt, yes, but a prude as well. One of her hobbies at the time was to flirt with guys - most of which were nowhere near her league - and leave 'em hanging, high and dry.

In some parallel universe somewhere, that was the end of that, I went back to being unhappily married to Satan and Alanna married her rich, Hugh Grant-looking fiance. In that parallel universe, I'm busy whacking off to some internet porn right now, wishing things would be different and I wasn't married to Satan, and Alanna is raising three bratty kids in South Carolina, wishing she could get the courage to suggest swinging to her uptight husband.

Luckily for me, in this universe, that's NOT where things ended. For the next several months, Alanna and I were friends who flirted with each other. A lot. We hung out all the time, we went to the bar every Sunday night. She knew I wanted her, I knew she might still do something...and we went round and round.
At one point, she told me she loved me. Then, quickly - as if to make sure to keep my stomach tied up in knots for weeks - she added 'but just as FRIENDS'...

So I was stuck in the 'friend zone' for what seemed to me to be forever. She'd flirt - Gaaaawd, how she flirted. She'd wear her tightest jeans to the bar, then bend over right in front of me playing pool. She'd talk about sex almost non-stop.
She tortured me for what seemed like forever. During that time, I played the part of the boyfriend (helping her when her car broke down, bringing her tissues and soup when she was sick) without getting boyfriend benefits. I was being the dumb guy I'd always been - but, at least, I was hanging out with a hottie!
We discovered our birthdays were a day apart. She came up with a plan to celebrate my birthday - a plan that, to me anyway, sounded a LOT like a REAL date - we were gonna get dressed up, have a nice dinner at a nice restaurant, yada yada...I was kinda surprised. Finally, I thought, I'm gonna become a REAL boyfriend, not just playing the part...
But (not surprisingly now that I look back on it) she freaked out somewhere between getting dressed up and arriving at the restaurant. Tooooooooo much like a real date, I guess...
So it went on like that. A few months and many, many non-date dates later, she kissed me. Or, rather, agreed to kiss me, almost on a dare. It took a few more non-date dates and we were making out like teenagers. I even copped a feel now and then. Then, I was spending the night with her - not to have sex, mind you, just a little touchy-feely stuff. I couldn't even SEE the goods.
Then one night - lights off, in her roommate's room of all places, she let me see her tits. Woohoo!! But wait! She went down on me too! And let me feel her pussy! Wow! THIRD BASE! And it had only taken eight months!!

Then, after a few more sessions of this, one fateful late-summer afternoon, we went swimming together. Swimming, apparently, makes Alanna horny (I've learned since that many, MANY things make Alanna horny!). We practically were fucking in the middle of the public pool (kinda foreshadowing our swinging life, huh?) before making it back to her apartment, where we quickly tore each others' clothes off and fucked like animals.
I enjoyed it (well, DUH!) and she sure seemed to enjoy it. Then, she went in the bathroom, cleaned up a bit and started crying.
Well, ok, THAT had never happened to me. I mean, I could picture a female laughing after sex (or even during...) with me, but crying - especially from a girl I'd never seen cry before...that kinda floored me.
As I later learned, she was crying not only because it was a big moment for her, but because she was still engaged to her rich Hugh Grant-ish boyfriend, and still screwing him as well, two things that she had sworn to me were NOT going on...
Not that I was any better. I was still unhappily married to Satan, even getting laid once in awhile, but I had told Alanna that yeah, ok, so I LIVE in that house with Satan, but we live like roomates (which was partially true!) and nothing sexual was happening.

So...for a few months, our relationship adjusted to this new situation. We fucked like most couples fuck at first - meaning a LOT. 'Course, she was also getting fucked by her fiance' and I was fucking my wife...and everyone who didn't need to know was clueless.
Well, MOSTLY clueless. One weekend, I took Alanna on a little trip to Chicago, making up a work-related excuse to Satan. We had a lot of fun...so much fun, in fact, that a pair of Alanna's (well used!) panties ended up in MY luggage...only to be found, a day or two after I returned home, by Satan.
I made up some lame excuse about a co-worker playing a prank on me, but I was pretty sure she knew what was going on (she might be pure evil, but she wasn't stupid...she had done enough cheating and lying to spot an obvious one!)

Then, on one fateful Tuesday in April - known forever as Black Tuesday - things changed.
It was - except for one small thing - a great day. My job as a sportswriter had taken me to Tiger Stadium in Detroit for opening day for the Tigers. Because I worked for a small paper, most of my assignments were things like covering high school soccer, so this was a big deal for me. Not only that, I got to walk around on the field at Tiger Stadium, stand behind and talk to Cecil Fielder while he took batting practice and met and talked with the greatest radio announcer in history, Ernie Harwell (yeah, I know, if you're not a sports fan, especially a baseball fan from Michigan, none of those things sound interesting in the least, but for me it was a big deal!)
I made the drive back from Detroit glowing like a schoolboy and after I finished my story at the office, I headed over to Alanna's place....but thought, well, it's been a long day, I'd better call and let Satan know I'll be awhile yet...
When Satan answered, she said, simply, 'Um, your girlfriend called.'
My heart stopped, I froze in my tracks and time itself seemed to stand still.
I called Alanna, and she screamed into the phone 'you're MARRIED????'
Now, looking back, I don't know why I freaked out so much. I mean, I knew Satan had cheated on me many, many times, and I knew that she really couldn't say much about it (not that having both people in a relationship cheating makes for a healthy relationship...), and I was pretty sure that Alanna wouldn't be too terribly upset by the whole thing, but still...I was as close to having a heart attack as I ever had (it really was the first - and only - time I had ever been caught cheating).

Well, things with Satan that evening went about as I expected. I simply said 'well, I'm gonna go talk to Alanna' and left without any argument.
Things didn't go quite as smoothly with Alanna. She was pissed (and, in retrospect, she really shouldn't have been, considering she was doing pretty much the same thing...).
Over the next few days, I slept at my (Satan's) house, where things were relatively normal. I talked to Alanna - a lot - and she talked to other people, too...in fact, she told everyone she knew (and a lot of people she didn't know) what had happened, making me out as a bad, bad, BAD person...
It didn't help that she called Satan again and decided to have the two of them get together and talk bad about me.
Well, I could handle Alanna being mad, but I wasn't to fond of her trashing my (otherwise pretty good) reputation, and meeting up with my (so-called) wife to trash my name, and we broke up.
It took about two weeks, maybe three and I decided that I had had enough of Satan. It was a pretty smooth breakup, especially for an almost 10-year marriage - I think we both pretty much hated each other, so it was almost a relief to get away.
I moved in for a short time with my sister, and ran into Alanna almost immediately after. When I told her I had left Satan and it was over...well, I guess that meant it was ok for us to get back together, 'cause by the end of the night, we were a couple again.
We went through some rough periods over the next six months...we broke up once when I (what was I thinking?) went back to Satan (and that lasted all of about a day), and again when she decided she'd date other people. I dated a psycho BBW woman for a few months (a chick who later said I had gotten her pregnant - she miscarried, she said - despite the fact that I never, EVER came close to cumming in her....)
But by Christmas, I knew I needed to have Alanna back in my life. The day after Christmas, I called her parent's house from a couple blocks away and asked if we could get together...we did, I spent the night, and that was that, we were together, for good.

A couple months later - we were living a couple hours apart at this time, but she was spending the weekend with me - I showed her a website I had found (we're talking 1996 or 7 here, so the internet wasn't what it was today) that discussed swinging. Now, I had already learned that Alanna was freaky - she was the first girl to let me cum in her mouth (she begged for it!) and the first girl to let me fuck her in the ass, so I knew she wouldn't be mad at me for looking at 'adult' sites. But to my surprise, not only was she interested, she was reeeaaallly interested....her exact words (I remember them well!) were 'wow, people really DO that! I've always wondered what it would be like to be with a woman!'
Well, that settled that. I started contacting people to set up some swinging fun, and people were bombarding us with offers (gee, wonder why!) The first couple we met...well, let's just say we did NOT feel any attraction. They took us to our first swinger party (in the same small, ultra-conservative town where I worked!) but didn't leave a good impression when they all but forbid anyone else from talking to us - we were 'their date' (and apparently their property, or so they thought), and when the party (off-premise) broke up and we all went back to the hotel rooms, we left pretty quickly. I'm sure the nice swingers there said 'well, there's one couple who won't ever give swinging another try!' (guess they were wrong!)

I don't think I ever really proposed to Alanna. I asked her to move in with me - we moved into a place we (not really affectionately) called the 'Chicken Coop' (it was a run-down 1-bedroom house owned by a friend of hers. The place was about 450 square feet, total, and was heated - in Michigan! - by one wall heater about the size of an air conditioner)
It was while we were living - unmarried! what sinners! - in the chicken coop when we had our first real swinger experience. The couple was fairly attractive, but Alanna didn't want to try any girl-girl stuff just yet, and - in a pattern I learned would be common place - the female didn't really wanna play with me much. But Alanna and I fucked in front of them, and Alanna blew the guy...so well that he came (which royally pissed off his wife, who couldn't get him to cum from sucking his dick).
It was also about this time that we went to the local strip club and Alanna got some serious hots for one of the dancers. Well, this was information I just HAD to share with a buddy of mine at work...and to my absolute shock he said 'it wasn't Betty, by chance, was it? We're sorta-kinda dating.'
Well, come to find out, my co-worker was an ex-assistant-manager (and still a regular customer) at the very same strip club. One of us - probably me - suggested Alanna give amateur night a try ('I'll make sure she wins!' my friend said) and the $300 prize was tempting enough that Alanna agreed to do it (yeah, I know - don't think for a second I didn't think about the fact that it took me eight long months of semi-dating before I even got to see her tits, and now she was gonna strip on stage!)
Well, sure, she was terrified to get up on stage, but once the music came on, the spotlight hit her and the crowd started screaming for her, a whole new Alanna came out. She started smiling, sliding out of her clothes and playing with her tits in front of a very appreciative crowd. The more they roared for her, the more comfortable she got, and by the end of the song, she was so wrapped up in the spotlight and screams that she didn't even hear the DJ tell her her song was over...I kept trying to motion for her to get off the stage, but the DJ had to come up and say loudly to her face 'THANK you Alanna!' before she'd get off the stage.
Needless to say, she won the prize money and it didn't take much convincing - by me, my friend and Betty - to get her to come back to work a shift.
Now, you say, what kind of guy WANTS his girl to be a stripper? Well, we already had a pretty open relationship, sexually-speaking, as we were getting into swinging and had no problems separating the physical act of sex from the emotion of love. And I knew - dancing or not - Alanna was still going to flirt, and flirt heavily, with pretty much any guy she met. I wasn't afraid she'd leave me for anyone, she just liked the attention, and well, let's think about this - if your girl is gonna flirt, why not let her make cash doing it?
I just instinctively knew that she'd be a great dancer - she loves music, she loves dancing (she's no pole expert, tho) and she loves talking the ear off guys (which, really, is why an awful lot of guys go to a strip club - just to have a pretty girl talk to them!)
It took awhile - but only a little while - for her to understand the concept of hustling guys, but when she realized that all she had to do to make some serious cash was get them on the couch....well, she was the club's number one girl within a few months and she remained so til she stopped dancing!

Now, my newspaper job wasn't exactly a high-paying position (and I had student loans and child support to pay) so the added boost in income was pretty nice. We moved, first out of the chicken coop and into a nicer place across the street, then to a gorgeous (and still my favorite place we've lived) duplex out in the country. During this time, our swinging lifestyle really took off and we met people who we'd later do websites with. We had the money to travel - we spent a very cool couple of weeks touring California, from San Diego to San Francisco to Lake Tahoe, and we had a whole lotta fun swinging, hitting swing clubs everywhere we went.
In 1999, I was offered the job of sports editor for a small daily paper in a retirement town in Florida. I loved the idea - because of how I grew up, I hadn't traveled much at all, and living in Florida sounded like a whole lotta fun. Alanna wasn't so sure - she's not a big fan of change - but agreed to it, and we moved into a nice three-bedroom apartment outside of Orlando.
We had some issues almost immediately. One, I hated my job - frankly, there was a reason why the paper couldn't keep employees, 'cause the place sucked. Two, we counted a lot on Alanna's income...and since there were tons of strip clubs in Orlando, we figured it wouldn't be a problem (actually, we thought she'd make tons more money!). What we didn't realize is that a month or so before we moved to Orlando, the local laws changed, and there was NO contact between dancers and customers, and business in every place in town took a nosedive. Add in the fact that every club - every decent club, at least - was filled with DD-silicone-boobed Penthouse models (as opposed to the club full of girls-next-door where she had worked in Michigan), Alanna went from being 'top dog' to making next to nothing.

She tried clubs all over Florida, all the way down to West Palm Beach, before finding a club in Tampa that she liked - and she was able to make good money there as well (mainly 'cause the clubs in Tampa were well known for very dirty dances!) So while she was back to making good money, it meant making a three-hour round trip commute from northern Orlando to Tampa (while I was making an hour-and-a-half round trip commute to my job north of Orlando)
We also had the fact that my sons were back in Michigan...and at this point, they were fairly young and didn't handle Dad living so far away very well (and I had my own issues with being so far away...I made a few back-and-forth drives from Florida to Michigan for school plays and stuff like that - fun!)
So were weren't thrilled being in Florida...but on the other hand, we had more fun and did more things in the year we were there than we had in the whole time we had been together! We hit all the Florida fun places...Key West (a VERY fun town!), Miami Beach, Fort Lauderdale (some GREAT swing clubs!) and, of course, all of Orlando's fun places. We even took some other trips - New Orleans, a cruise...we stayed busy having fun!
But it was a fateful evening online that changed our lives for good. A couple from Daytona Beach had sent us a message saying they'd like to meet, and the female of the couple looked damn good. We met them at their penthouse beachfront condo - a very nice place - and immediately liked them.
What we didn't know was the couple ran an amateur website - webcams in the house, live shows, the whole deal. In my online experience, I hadn't run into many amateur sites (Carol Cox was probably the only one I knew of), but this couple was obviously doing pretty well with theirs...and when the girl, Hone, convinced Alanna to do a cam show with her (and Alanna loved it!) I knew that here was an idea we could run with!

I was a journalist...I had never come close to TRYING to put together a website, and discovered it wasn't as easy as I'd hoped. I did manage, tho, to throw enough together to give Alanna a members area (back in the days when it was easy and no-cost to use a billing company like IBill) and a streaming webcam, which she used to give free shows to guys to get them to join.
All was well - signups were slow, like four the first month - but we were getting some people to visit the site, when we got our first month's hosting bill...guess I didn't realize that all that streaming cam time would add up to a decent size bill, one that income from four members was no where near paying!
So - rather unhappily - we shut the site down (that URL - which I won't give you, 'cause somebody else owns it now - is still active, but not for an amateur site). Shortly after, I was offered a better paying position back in Michigan, and it was an easy decision to leave Florida and head back north.

MORE coming soon....I hope! (then again, I've been saying that for awhile!)